Number one girl

I think this blog is for someone who dreams of being somebody’s number one. I’ve never been inspired to write from a song until I heard Number One Girl by Rose. Love is so beautiful because it helps us discover a version of ourselves we never expected. We care and love from the bottom of our hearts in a way that’s pure and genuine. Full of smiles and blooming like a flower.

But what happens when you find love in the wrong place?

Each day goes by, and I find myself longing for answers to questions like: Am I cute? Am I pretty? Am I enough? Am I special? Am I loved? I wish I could be the number one girl in your eyes. And in those moments I’d give it all up if you just told me.

But deep down, I know when we look in the right place, we won’t need to ask those questions. Love in the right place doesn’t leave us questioning our worth.

It’s a deep cut. No matter how much advice we hear about self-love, self-care, and putting yourself first, the journey is never linear. Some days, we feel strong and resilient. Other days, we’re at your lowest. Knowing all the logical reasons doesn’t mean we heart will follow. What’s in our head doesn’t always align with what’s in our heart.

Losing someone often means losing a part of ourselves too. Isn’t it lonely?

Letting go and trusting that everything will be okay in the end is one of the hardest things to believe in the moment. Each day passes, and with each night, the tears come.

This is a story I hate to tell, but I write it to cope with the pain. It’s a reminder that healing isn’t always linear, and love, while beautiful, can be complicated and messy. But even in the mess, there’s hope that one day, we’ll find the right place and the right person who makes us feel like we were never second-best.

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